Cloudy Mirror

Affection is like a drug. We crave it. We actively seek it out. Sometimes, once we’ve had a taste, we might do almost anything to get just a little bit more. It can give us an emotional high to which we desperately cling because the mere thought of being without it is so painfully dreadful. The addictive quality of affection has the power to change our behavior and our personalities to the point that we are no longer acting as our true selves.

It’s completely natural to want affection from our family and from romantic partners. To feel loved can be an exhilarating feeling and it can provide us with a sense of comfort in our lives. To be denied affection from those we care about can be devastating. Especially if we have been without affection for a period of time, a simple hug, caress or a few kind words can be enough to set our hearts aflutter and ignite our desire for more.

The scary thing is that, especially in romantic situations, it’s entirely possible to love the attention and affection that someone gives us, without really loving the person who is giving it to us. Now, in the earliest stages of a romantic relationship, it isn’t always easy to distinguish what we’re really attached to in the other person. At that point, it’s usually such a whirlwind of emotions and we’re often so giddy and happy that we don’t really care to analyze why we’re into this other person. We may even ignore things about the other person that might really bother us if we were thinking more clearly. Just the fact that the interest seems mutual and that we’re getting affection is often enough to keep us flying emotionally high… for a while, at least.

At some point, the tediousness of constantly acting as someone other than our true selves can wear us down, though we may never recognize that as being the real problem. We just start to recognize that what used to make us happy in a relationship just doesn’t seem to be enough anymore.

In a romantic situation, we may think that the novelty of the new relationship has simply worn off. We might not realize that, in casting aside bothersome qualities about the other person, we have been denying ourselves of the qualities that we really want in a romantic partner. For instance, if our partner is constantly pointing out things that are wrong with us, or things that we should improve about ourselves, we may be inclined think of it as “constructive criticism”. Instead of admitting to ourselves that this other person might have unreasonable expectations of us, we choose to ignore that he/she is doing anything other than trying to help us… because if we don’t ignore it, we might have to come down off of this happy cloud that we’re on and we may have to give up that affection and that “pretty picture” to which we’ve become so attached. It’s might also be equally or more disheartening to think about the fact that the other person may be guilty of ignoring characteristics in us too, because they desire to keep affection that we give as well. Continue Reading »

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Congratulations, Rafael Nadal! Yes, of course I mean for winning Wimbledon in simply the most incredible tennis match that I’ve ever seen, but more so for keeping your head on straight and for being such a classy individual. For that, congratulations and a million thanks.

These days, we’re surrounded by celebrities and other public figures who are obsessed with their outer images and how they look to everyone else watching them. They spend exorbitant amounts of money on the latest fashions, cars, parties and other status symbols to show the world how rich, famous and powerful they are. They hang out at all the exclusive clubs and restaurants and are quick to let us know that they are close friends with other rich, famous and cool people.

I would guess that many celebrities feel like they have to constantly work to impress everyone that’s watching them. After all, Hollywood and the music industry rely heavily on external beauty and public opinion to make their money. So if you aren’t beautiful and cool, it’s hard to succeed in these fields. Actors and music artists want people to like them so much that they (or their PR people) will do just about anything so they win the love and admiration of the public. Sure talent still counts for something, especially in sports, but the pressure seems overwhelmingly high for public figures to show that they deserve our adoration.

That’s why it’s so incredible to watch someone like 22-year-old tennis champion Rafael “Rafa” Nadal seemingly shrug off all the media attention and hype that is focused on him. With all of the interviews and flashbulbs that he comes into contact with every day, he somehow manages to remain humble and so utterly normal. Maybe it’s because his family instilled an amazing work ethic and a sense of humility in him or maybe he was just born with it, but whatever it is, I’m grateful to be able to witness it. Continue Reading »

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